This morning I realized enough time had passed that I could finally east oatmeal for breakfast again. So I made some and put it in the microwave and went on about my business. I knew just how long to put it in for and had just the right amount of time to get juice and carry it over to the table. I returned to the microwave just as it counted down the final three seconds.

As I opened the door in eager anticipation I was greeted by an oatmeal explosion. Definitely a breakfast fail if ever there had been one. But I just stood and watched - thinking about the wasted oatmeal and the mess that had already begun to harden. Who changed the rules on oatmeal? I took a few months off and all of a sudden it began coming with tnt flavor packets? Before cleaning up the mess, before making the call about which portions were still edible and which were not, before checking the box for any new cooking instructions, before any of that I just stared. Fully soaking up this breakfast trainwreck.

Time to just stare at your own messes a while is good for the soul. It locks it into your brain, presumably so you won't ever do it again, and gives you something else to do to distract you from tossing the whole damn microwave out the kitchen window.

Tonight I went back and cleaned up the oatmeal crime scene to the point where you would never know it had happened. But it did. And so tomorrow I am going to eat yogurt.

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